November Awareness Challenge: Question the Influence

You had almost made up your mind.

Then someone said, “Well, if it were me…”

A few minutes later, you were reconsidering. They sounded confident. Maybe they had a point. Maybe they knew something you didn’t.

Or maybe you simply didn’t want to explain why you disagreed.

Their advice might have been helpful. But what changed your mind—the information they offered, their confidence, or the discomfort of choosing differently?

That’s what we’re paying attention to this November.

What—or whom—is influencing the choice I’m about to make?

The next step in our awareness journey

In July, we practiced noticing what was happening in our lives. In August, we practiced pausing before responding. September brought our attention to choice.

Then October’s “Find the Pattern” challenge asked us to notice the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that kept showing up together.

November takes that exploration a little further.

Once you recognize a familiar pattern, you can begin asking what keeps feeding it.

Whose advice carries extra weight? Which expectations feel like rules? What makes one possibility seem sensible and another seem irresponsible before you’ve really considered either?

Sometimes the influence is standing beside you.

Sometimes it’s a sentence you’ve been carrying for thirty years.

Influence can sound like common sense

“People like us don’t do things like that.”

“You’re too old to start over.”

“Everybody’s buying one.”

“You don’t want them to think you’re selfish.”

These statements can arrive as advice, jokes, advertisements, or passing remarks. Over time, we may stop hearing them as someone else’s opinion and begin hearing them as our own conclusions.

The American Psychological Association’s definition of social influence explains that other people can affect our thoughts, feelings, and behavior even when their presence is only imagined or implied.

You don’t always need someone in the room telling you what to do.

Sometimes imagining their reaction is enough.

Think about agreeing to another commitment when your week is already full. You may care deeply about helping. You may also be picturing the disappointment on someone’s face if you say no.

Both can be present. Noticing that gives you something useful to consider.

Helpful advice deserves a thoughtful hearing

We learn from other people. Their experience can save us time, introduce possibilities, and help us avoid mistakes.

This month’s practice makes room to examine that guidance.

Does this person have experience with the decision I’m facing? Do they understand my circumstances? Can they explain their reasoning?

And on my side of the conversation: am I listening because the advice makes sense, because I admire the person, or because I want their approval?

You might still follow the advice after asking those questions. You might appreciate it more because you understand why it fits.

You might also realize that someone’s suggestion suits their life better than yours.

Your November challenge

Once a day, choose one ordinary decision and pause long enough to question its influences.

Keep it small. A purchase. An invitation. Something you’re about to share online. A moment when you’re ready to agree before checking how you feel.

Try these three steps:

1. Notice the pull.

Ask yourself: What is making this option feel appealing, necessary, or difficult to refuse?

Perhaps it’s useful information. Perhaps it’s someone’s confidence, a familiar expectation, or the wish to fit in. You don’t have to find a perfect answer. Start with what you notice.

2. Ask the month’s central question.

Would I make the same choice if nobody else were watching or advising me?

Treat your answer as a clue. Other people may have offered information you genuinely need. Some decisions also involve responsibilities to others. The question helps you explore how much their attention, advice, or approval is weighing on you.

3. Choose with a reason you can name.

Finish this sentence:

“Having considered that influence, I’m choosing this because…”

You may continue with your original decision. You may change it. You may decide you need more information.

What matters is giving yourself a moment to participate consciously in the choice.

A small example

Someone invites you to an event.

You’re tired, your calendar is crowded, and you were looking forward to an evening at home. Still, you hear yourself beginning to say yes.

You pause.

Would I make the same choice if nobody else were watching or advising me?

You realize you’re worried that declining will make you seem uncaring.

Now you can consider the whole situation. You care about this person. You also need rest. Perhaps you go because this particular occasion matters to you. Perhaps you decline kindly and arrange another time together.

The pause gives you room to weigh both.

Leave yourself one sentence

If you’d like to keep a record, write a short note at the end of the day:

“Today I noticed __ influencing my choice to __.”

That’s enough.

Over the month, those small observations may reveal something familiar: a person whose approval you seek, a message you rarely question, or advice that consistently helps you make decisions you feel good about.

Be curious about what you find. You’re learning how your choices take shape.

Carry the question with you

November brings plenty of opportunities to practice—family plans, holiday expectations, shopping messages, and conversations full of suggestions.

Start with one choice today.

Listen to the advice. Notice the expectation. Consider the information.

Then give your own reasons a hearing, too.

What is influencing this choice—and how much weight do I want to give it?

Until next time,

Magus G.Mack

Don’t Be Like Me, Be Better