Join me each week as we explore awareness, human behavior, and the small daily choices that shape our lives. As a thank-you for joining, you'll receive my free guide, 13 Hidden Patterns that Quietly Control Your Life, to help you begin recognizing the hidden patterns that quietly influence your thoughts, habits, and daily decisions.
What I Really Wanted - A Message From Magus G.Mack
What I Really Wanted (What the Grand Babies Taught)There was a time when I thought I was struggling with envy. I’d be working outside in the Arkansas heat while someone drove past in an air-conditioned truck. I’d watch families leaving for vacation. I’d see people who seemed to have more freedom than I did. More time. More opportunities. An easier life. My first thought was always the same. “I wish I had what they have.” I was envious. Or so I thought. The interesting thing about awareness is that it has a way of asking a second question, something I hadn’t considered before. If someone offered me their entire life exactly as it is… would I trade places with them? The answer surprised me. No. Not even once. So if I didn’t actually want their life… What was I really wanting? It took me a while to figure it out. The answer came from two little girls. Years ago, my granddaughters started calling me Always There Poppa. It wasn’t because I was always physically present. It was because when I was with them, I tried to be completely present. No phone. No distractions. Just us. That nickname became one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received. It also revealed something I hadn’t fully understood. I wasn’t jealous of someone else’s paycheck. I wasn’t jealous of their truck. I wasn’t jealous of their vacation. I longed for something much deeper. I wanted more moments like that. More evenings. More walks. More stories. More laughter. More opportunities to simply be Always There Poppa. Looking back, I realized I wasn’t only dealing with envy. I was also experiencing something the old writers called lust. Now before you stop reading… Stay with me for a moment. For years, I did too. But as I continued studying human behavior, I began to realize the word is much bigger than that. Lust is an intense longing. A craving. A deep desire for something we believe will make life better. Sometimes that longing is physical. Sometimes it’s for wealth. Sometimes it’s for recognition. Sometimes it’s for comfort. Sometimes it’s for power. And sometimes… It’s simply for more time with the people we love. My lust wasn’t for another person’s wife. It wasn’t for a bigger house. It wasn’t for a nicer truck. It was for something much quieter. I longed to become the grandfather my granddaughters already believed I was. That’s when something else became clear. Envy and lust often travel together. Envy says, “I wish I had what they have.” Lust quietly asks, “What is it that you believe their life would allow you to experience?” Those are two very different questions. One focuses on someone else’s life. The other reveals your own heart. The problem wasn’t that I longed for more family time. The problem was that I had mistaken the object of my longing. I thought I wanted someone else’s circumstances. What I really wanted was to build my own. That realization changed the way I thought about work. About priorities About the future. About why I was writing books. About why Asdabbi exists. I don’t want success simply to own more things. I want success because it creates the freedom to spend more time doing what matters most. That’s a very different kind of longing. It’s amazing how often awareness changes the question. Instead of asking, “Why am I so envious?” I learned to ask, “What am I really longing for?” That question has guided many of my decisions ever since.
Reflection
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A Message from Magus G.Mack
Join me each week as we explore awareness, human behavior, and the small daily choices that shape our lives. As a thank-you for joining, you'll receive my free guide, 13 Hidden Patterns that Quietly Control Your Life, to help you begin recognizing the hidden patterns that quietly influence your thoughts, habits, and daily decisions.